http://n8past.tumblr.com/post/15725753806/on-anons
This was accidentally sent as Fan Mail, so I couldn’t post it. But this is just for you, anonymous.
I’m just tired of living under a microscope. If you want me to make a mistake just to criticize me, I can assure you that you wouldn’t have to wait very long. But watching my every move in order to judge me doesn’t make you a better person. It really doesn’t.
I hope that you guys do TFII for God this time and not for yourselves.
This anon shall not be deleted.
Believe it or not, I wish you would have just said something to me with some sort of an identity. After all, I would enjoy knowing exactly why you think the way you do. It would help Fog 2.
Plus, if you think this has made me angry or hurt or whatever, it didn’t. On my behalf, because obviously that’s the only place I can speak from knowing full intentions, at the end of it, I never did this for myself. What would I have ultimately gained for myself anyways? To tell everyone about my past for fun so they could pity me? Sing even though I don’t have confidence in my voice? Spend hours of time and hundreds of dollars on an event to make me look good? To answer those questions, YES! It is possible that I could have done those things. But I can honestly tell you, with much laughter, those things are all temporary and there is nothing too wonderful I would have gained for myself.
Let me give you some “behind the scenes” for TF1. After Alvin and I first became friends, we talked about having a praise night at church. Later, we felt the call to reach out into our own community to address & make aware the brokenness of every day life that we live through & show this generation that God exists amongst it all in the most real and relatable way. The brokenness, the bitterness, the excuses, the sin, the shame, the things that kept us from God and His overwhelming love— that was the Fog. We acknowledged our lack of strength as humans because in our lives we have failed, seen and experienced hardship, and had been lost, but He has chosen and taken us, broken and wretched people, and lifted us from the pit so many times; more times than we have ever deserved. We knew God had placed it upon us to no longer remain silent, step out of our comfort zone, and speak out, but the good ol, “Let’s shove God down people’s throats!” did not sit with us well. We wanted to make this RELATABLE, and EASILY understood for our generation. We thought through music, videos, and testimonies, the connection would be there. So in late April, we began to plan. We set the date of The Fog for August 20th, 2011.
At the beginning of it, the church governing board was against it. We were immediately slammed with the “Too much, too soon.” Alvin and I were constantly frustrated, we wanted to just give up or even move it, but God kept constantly urging us for the end of the summer. So we prayed and had faith that if this was God’s will that He would bring us through it. The Fog staff was in constant prayer, as was SFCAC ‘s English ministry. So many tears were shed in that time. But we constantly felt the pressing to keep going because as time went on God revealed to us the need more and more. That “community” wasn’t just ANY community anymore, they were people, some lost and some on the fence, some losing it and some searching with arms wide open. These people, these lives, God was (and is) fighting for them, and so would we because we knew so deeply that should it be that ONE word, that ONE song, that ONE moment where they would see and experience God… it would change their lives forever. In the direst of moments, we clung to that.
And I mean this wasn’t just the only thing going on in my life. I was in summer school, my grandmother was in the hospital throughout the summer, my family was falling apart, I wasn’t giving time to my relationships, I was healing and hurting, but I knew that God was using me and that He was growing me, and that regardless, He would be glorified.
I mean, looking back, I could’ve called it quits at anytime. But when the need is there, His call is undeniable. I knew that if this was indeed His good and perfect will for us, He would carry myself and TF staff, who was also going through a lot themselves (you should ask them), through.
After all, our theme verse was Psalm 34: 17-19:
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;
So you tell me, anonymous, now knowing some of the story behind it all, why do you think the way you do?
Goodnight!
The Fog II.
I find myself asking God, “How will You use me this time?”
It’s been interesting this “post-Fog life.” Summer last year was hectic. And I mean HECTIC. Hours at SFCAC, sleeping in the hospital next to Lola while hurrying with the finishing touches on TFSF1, shopping everywhere, hours upon hours singing and planning— It was crazy. The strength God gives that even in the weakest moment… goodness. He made us all so strong. He used a few beaten up brats to relay a message of His love. Goodness, it amazes me every time.
Anyways, here’s my shameless plug for The Fog. If you would like to consider joining us this year on a committee or even of staff, please contact me! Thanks(:
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
A little backstory to this clip before you watch it:
Will Smith’s father abandoned him and his mother when he was a child, and when Will was finally getting into show business and making a name for himself, he tried to sneak his way back into his life like nothing happened. Will co-wrote this episode, and James Avery (Uncle Phil) said “this scene was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to shoot in my life. Every emotion, every word.. that was Will”
Will was actually supposed to play it off and then walk away, and there was originally an alternate scene that was supposed to happen, but he actually completely cut out what was supposed to be said, and did all of his own dialogue. The hug at the end of this scene is completely genuine, and this was a stepping stone in Will’s career where he started to take on the “do what feels, sounds, and looks right” approach to his acting.
(Source: tumblr.com, via keeshuuh)
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Runnin; The Pharcyde
“There comes a time in every man’s life when he’s gotta handle [things] up on his own.”
